


Unspoken Tragedy

by wolvesnroses



Category: The Night Shift (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Deployment, Depression, Feelings, Female reader insert, Hugging, Miscarriage, Other, Sobbing, Stupid characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 14:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14114253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolvesnroses/pseuds/wolvesnroses
Summary: TWs are in the tags. Don't like don't read. RATED T FOR A REASON!When Drew finds out the Reader is deploying, he also finds out some terrible facts about her last deployment.





	Unspoken Tragedy

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers:  
> 1) I don't own Night Shift or any of the characters in this story.  
> 2) I don't work in the military, so some of those parts of the story are false.  
> 3) I also don't work in the medical field, so once again, some of those parts of the story are false.

The call came as you sat in the hospital parking lot at six-thirty in the morning, waiting for your brother to get off his shift.

"Lieutenant Alister." you greeted.

"Lieutenant Alister, this is Commander Gietz. Unfortunately, we are being deployed in two days. Sorry about this, I know you were looking forward to spending your birthday with your brother and your niece."

"Life happens, sir."

"Okay, well, you need to report to base by 0900 hours on Thursday."

"Thank you for the heads up, Commander."

"See you in a few days, Lieutenant." You hung up, and let your head fall on the steering wheel. Tears welled up in your eyes. Friday was when you turned 25 and you were looking forward to finally celebrating your birthday with your new niece, Brianna. With your hair around your head, you never saw your brother approach the truck, however you did hear the door open.

"Don't tell me you are sleeping in a parking lot." Your brother teased you as he climbed in, and then he yawned.

"I'm not sleepy, but you sure seem to be." You stated, Drew's humor lost on you in the pit of anger you fell into. You loved your job, but sometimes…

"Woah, who peed in your cereal?" He asked, shocked at the response his teasing received.

"Nobody. Are you ready to head home?" You asked impatiently wanting to get a move on and change the subject.

"Yeah," he yawned again. You turned the key in the ignition and started the truck.

 

As you drove towards your brother's house, you wondered how you were supposed to break your niece's heart and inform her that she wouldn't be able to spend Friday with you. Luckily, she was on the school bus when you and Drew finally arrived at the house, but Rick was on his way out.

"Hey, Rick?" You asked quietly. He turned to you.

"What's up?"

"I need some advice." Rick stopped dead with what he was doing to give you his undivided attention.

"Okay."

"I am getting deployed." You saw the concern rise in his eyes, and he reached for your hand.

"When?" He asked quietly.

"Thursday morning." You looked at the ground, unsure of what to do next.

"Oh."

"How am I supposed to tell Brianna?" The tears welled up at the thought of telling her.

"Well, who all have you told?"

"You." You finally looked up.

"(Y/N)," he sighed.

"I don't need anything but advice. Nothing, no pity, no sympathy." The anger began rising.

"We'll figure it out when I get home from work." He smiled comfortingly, even though you didn't want it.

 

You both agreed you had to tell Drew first. Drew would be the best person to handle Brianna if this went south, which wouldn't surprise you.

"Hey, Drew? Can I buy you breakfast?"

"Yeah. But why?"

"We need to talk about something. It is kind of a big deal to me."

"Sure." Suspicious after you said that, he wondered what was such a big deal.

 

As you two sat at breakfast, you waited for your food to arrive in hopes of stalling.  But once the food arrived, you knew you couldn't put it off any longer.

"So-" "What-" you both spoke at the same time, which was followed by a couple of chuckles from you and him.

"Go ahead, (Y/N)." Drew looked at you.

"Um, okay. Well, uh, unfortunately, I need your help."

"With what?" He asked,

"I am being deployed and I leave tomorrow morning. I leave after you get off shift, and after Brianna goes to school. Sorry, Drew." Your voice trailed off at the end of the sentence in shame. You were proud of what you did. You loved being a SEAL but sometimes you were annoyed with all the time you spent away from your family.

"What?!" He nearly yelled, and then quieting again, "You're leaving again? How were you planning on telling Brianna that she doesn't get to spend Friday with you? How long have you known? Especially considering you are telling me this the day before you leave?" Anger spiked hot in his blood, and you saw the anger.

"Drew, I only found out yesterday. I didn't want to leave but I have to." When you saw him open his mouth, you suddenly began to wish that you hadn't told anyone and just left, even though it would've hurt everyone, you wouldn't have to face the questions, and the anger. However, you knew that was the coward's way out.

"I can't bel- wait, what?" Confusion laced his tone.

"Drew, I only found out yesterday." There was a soft pleading in your voice.

"When did you find out yesterday?" He knew exactly when you found out but wanted to confirm it.

"Just before you got in the truck after shift. Drew, I'm sorry."

"I know." He knew there was something bothering you when he climbed in the truck yesterday, but he was right about when you found out. Drew couldn't believe you didn't tell him. You and he had always been close, but you had grown even closer when you discovered your parents disowned him over his boyfriend, which pissed you off, to the point where you stopped talking to them. Originally, Drew had begged you to not fight his battle, but your parents complained about it constantly when talking to you. So much in fact, that they didn't know any of the details of your life that you'd told them five times because they were too preoccupied with Drew's life. Your parents didn't know that they'd had a granddaughter or a daughter in the Navy. You never told them when you were being deployed because you knew they wouldn't pay attention. Although, to give them some credit, not even Drew knew about the niece he'd had. You had been overseas when you'd found out, and you only found out because you lost her saving lives in an IED explosion not too far from the base. Only your CO knew, and you had told him with the condition that he wouldn't go soft on you. You didn't even tell TC, not that you ever would. He had already lost one child and you weren't going to put him through that again. In fact, you suffered through the entire ordeal alone.

Drew wondered what else was going on, you were usually a bit livelier. "Is there something else going on, (Y/N)?"

"No." You snapped your head up at Drew's question, not realizing it had fallen. "Why?"

"Are you sure?"

"U-uh," you hesitated, wanting to tell him your boyfriend had dumped you two days ago. But all that would do is ruin their relationship, and you didn't want to be the cause for that. You absolutely refused to be the reason Drew's and TC's relationship was wrecked. Resolve renewed, you shook your head, "Yeah, there is nothing wrong, just some minor changes in life. Nothing out of the ordinary."

Drew heard your denial, but listened to the tone of your voice, which told him more. He decided he would check with TC and see if he knew what was going on.

 

 

**Next Shift- The Night Before (Y/N) Leaves**

Drew changed in the locker room, hoping to find TC while it was still earlier in the shift. Once in his scrubs, he began walking towards the Emergency Department, having seen Jordan down there earlier. A few feet from the department doors stood TC talking to Topher. He cautiously approached the two men who seemed to be arguing quietly. Topher noticed him first.

"Drew! Hey, man! What's going on?" Topher's eyes darted towards TC as if sending telepathic message.

"Not much. Hey, TC. Can I talk to you? Privately?"

"Yeah, sure." Topher walked into the ER.

"Do you know what might possibly going on with (Y/N)?" Drew asked TC.

"Nope. We broke up the other night. I just couldn't move on from Jordan the way I thought I could. Sorry man." Drew's mind stopped. (Y/N) was getting deployed tomorrow morning and she had been dumped shortly before deployment? "Shit!" TC's eyes widened at Drew's uncharacteristic outburst.

"What's wrong, Drew?" TC asked.

"She deploys tomorrow." Drew blinked slowly as he was still absorbing the news.

"Oh."

"That's all you have to say? I tell you, you dumped her just before she deploys and all you can say is, "oh"?" Drew was incredulous. How had he not known this? And if he didn't know this, then what else had he missed? He wasn't sure if he was more pissed at (Y/N), for not telling him, or himself for not noticing something was wrong. He knew it was selfish for him to wish that you had come to him, but he still wished that you'd have told him, even though he wouldn't have been able to do anything but kick TC's ass. Drew was also pretty sure that everyone in the ED, or emergency department, would be pissed with him that TC dumped you shortly before you left for overseas. To avoid pulling a TC and getting in trouble for assault in the ED, Drew left to find Topher. Topher and TC were as close as brothers, and Drew wanted to know if Topher had any knowledge of TC dumping her before she was deployed.

"Hey, Topher!" Drew called out, seeing the man coming in the bay doors unhurried.

"What's up, man?" Topher asked. Topher hoped the Drew finally found out about TC dumping (Y/N).

"Did you know about the breakup?"

"Thank God." He muttered.

"What the hell? Why didn't you tell me?!" Drew was upset. Why didn't (Y/N) tell him? Why didn't TC or Topher inform him?

 

(Y/N) was driving down a street. You didn't even know where you were anymore. When you had told Brianna, and Brianna exploded in tears, upset that she didn't get to celebrate her aunt's birthday with her. So (Y/N) had left to avoid the sob fest. You reminded yourself as you drove, that life means expecting the unexpected, no matter how badly you wanted to believe otherwise. The way you figured it, leaving might be best for everyone at this point. Your bags were packed in the back of your car, and you pulled over to open the navigation app on your phone.

 

Drew was sitting in the break room. He'd had a twenty-year old pregnant patient come in. She'd miscarried. No rhyme, no reason. Just woke up about two a.m. and had stabbing pains in her abdomen. Her boyfriend had called an ambulance, but it was too late. Drew couldn't believe the pain that the couple had expressed when they found out. Even he could almost feel it, so he left.

 _ZZZZT, ZZZZT, ZZZZZT._ His pocket was vibrating. So, he tugged his phone out with a weary countenance. _Why the hell is (Y/N)'s CO calling me?_ He picked up.

"Dr. Alister."

"Ahh, hello Captain." came the man's voice from the line.

"Hello, Commander Gietz. What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering, as her CO, how's your sister been since she got back?"

"Not too bad. Is there something I should watch out for? At least between now and when she leaves?" Drew spit out the last part of the question as if it burned him.

"Uh…. Well." The commander hesitated.

"What?"

"Aware that what I am saying might be against the law, your sister was pregnant. However, she lost it in an IED explosion."

"I could've had a niece or nephew? And she didn't ask for leave or anything?!"

"Captain, calm down. She didn't know until after the fact."

"Shit." Drew murmured. How come she hadn't told anyone? _Why wouldn't TC mention anything to me? He would've known how badly she wanted kids._ "Thank you for the information, Commander. Is there any way at all we can stop her next deployment?"

"Unfortunately, there is not. However, reenlistment is coming up on her. I was going to recommend to (Y/N) that she not sign up. I think a change in career might be a wise choice for her."

"Good. Thank you, again, Commander."

"No problem. Good-bye, Doctor." Drew hung up the phone. His sister had been through the proverbial ringer last deployment. He needed to talk to TC…. Again.

 

TC was pissed at Ragosa, which wasn't unusual, it just drove everybody else crazy, because that is typically when he did something stupid. And this time wasn't any different, except that he socked the man.  He was just shutting the door behind him when Drew found him.

"TC, man, we need to talk." TC sighed as he turned to face the MMA fighter.

"Listen, Drew. I already apologized, and I'm not gonna do it-"

"No." Drew cut him off. "That isn't it. I am still pissed that no one told me, but oh well. I came to find you because I figured you should probably know this, you got my sister knocked up."

"Woah- what now?" Shock was the only thing on TC's face.

"Yeah. I know Jordan's miscarriage was difficult on you both, but my sister was put through the proverbial ringer last deployment, and never told a soul. How did you comfort Jordan after she lost the baby?"

Suspicion arose within TC. "Why are you asking these- no." Denial kicked in. "Hell no. She wouldn't have found out she was pregnant and still agree to continue with her tour. So why are you asking me these questions?"

"There was an IED explosion. She didn't know until after. I'm sorry, man."

"Why didn't she tell anyone? Did she tell you?" TC's eyes were welling up.

"No. She didn't tell me. I found out when her CO called me and asked me how she's been doing."

"So, essentially, she's been dealing with this on her own for what? 3 months now?"

"I guess. I'm surprised at how well she is doing. I had to break the news earlier to a patient about the same age. The grief and pain looked like a tidal wave on them."

"Drew." TC stumbled, he had pulled out of his newfound grief to think about you for a moment. "What if she isn't doing as well as we think?"

Shock hit Drew so hard, it felt like a huge weight on his chest. Was TC right, and you were such a good actress that Drew wouldn't be able to notice. Shit. Of course, you were. After all, you were still able to pretend that you spoke to your parents. Drew found out that you had stopped talking to them during a conversation with your mom. She wasn't upset about the boyfriend anymore, now she was heartbroken. Once you stopped talking to her, the consequences of her actions dawned on her, and she realized she didn't know anything about your life. She no longer knew what you liked or disliked, who you were dating, or anything. The pain of her actions was immense, and all she wanted to do now was apologize, but she didn't know how to say sorry for ignoring her child. Had a single one of those times been a time when you _needed_ her, and she wasn't there, so you were left on your own trying to figure it out and then pick up the pieces? Drew was shocked, no, stunned when he heard that you were no longer on speaking terms. Last he heard, everything had been smoothed over. When he found out, he'd wanted to confront you, but your mother changed his mind. He couldn't fight all your battles for you. So, he'd left the situation alone. But, he had no idea on how to get you to confess about the baby and everything else without admitting that he knew. Of course, he could always ask Rick. Rick would be able to handle you better, after all, wasn't it him you'd told about the deployment first?

 

You had finally arrived at the airstrip where the plane was supposed to pick you up. The exception being you were three hours early. You had decided to not go back to Rick and Drew's as you couldn't deal with Briana being upset. Despite not knowing about your kid while she was alive, you missed her with your entire being. It was like, even though you didn't know she existed, your subconscious taught you to love her with all of you. You were jealous of Drew. Why couldn't you have the loving family, or the beautiful daughter? You were just angry at the universe, and the world. Why would the universe let Drew have Rick _and_ Briana, but tell you no? Of course, that seemed like the only question you asked anymore. Why? Why? Why? Why this? Why that? Just why. The only answer ever given to you was no. So, why were you being told no? There it was again. Finally, though, another question popped into your head. Would anyone here in San Antonio notice you were gone? Or would they continue as if it wasn't that big of a deal for you to be gone? Oh well. Only time would tell. You contemplated all these thoughts and a few more before you heard an engine rumbling. You checked your watch. You'd only been here an hour, which left two before the plane arrived. Besides, as far as you knew, you'd be the only person on the flight from San Antonio. You kept your head down, not paying attention, but not wanting to. Instead, you watched as your tears fell to the ground.

 

Rick slammed on the breaks as soon as he was close enough to park without hitting you or your car. He couldn't believe you would just leave. He struggled with what Drew had told him. Your CO risked getting in a lot of trouble releasing that kind of information, but Rick didn't care. He just wanted you to lean on him and Drew. If not them, then someone. But he knew that they would be the best bet. He crawled out of his SUV and watched you slowly raise your head. His heart broke at the upset, pain, and grief written and etched into your face. How had none of them seen this? How had they missed the light that no longer shone in your eyes, and sparked the light in others? He continued to watch as you forced a smile on your face, but you both knew you were too late. The tears streaming down your face. He approached you cautiously, but as soon as he was close enough, he pulled you into a bear hug. He didn't want to let you go, afraid you would shatter.

 

Rick's hug had you starting to pull your walls up one by one. You knew he had seen the heartache sewn into your face when he arrived. You didn't want to deal with the fallout now. After all, you left in two hours. Your plan to just leave without questions, or tearful goodbyes had been screwed when Rick showed up. But slowly, you realized you didn't have the motivation, or the energy to pull your walls up, so instead, you broke. You fell apart, and you trusted Rick to pick your pieces up. You were so wrapped up in your break down, you failed to notice Drew's truck pulling up. Drew breathed in, pain seeking his breath when he saw how torn down you were. Rick frowned when your sobs grew louder as he loosened his hold on you. He and Drew shuffled you into Drew's arms, and instead of trying to hold you together, or up, he fell with you to the ground. Rick was allowing Drew to step into what had slowly become Rick's place of trying to help you. Both of them realized the severity, and without a word, unanimously agreed to allow Rick to call your CO. He didn't care what it would take. He would make sure you got the proper time to heal. Drew sat there as your sobs grew quieter, but incoherent noises and silent tears grew louder and stronger. He felt your need to break and began murmuring to you to let it out. He knew you needed this. And trusting the man holding you, break is what you did.  You lost all sense of reality as you finally mourned for the child that would never know his or her mother's eternal and unconditional love. For a child that would never smile. Never giggle. Who would never smile in pure enjoyment. For a child that would play sports or join the chess team. You just… You radiated heartbreak to all those around. You shattered for the child you never knew you had.

 

Drew didn't know how to comfort you. He didn't know what to say or what to do. So, he just held you. Two and a half hours, he held you.  At the two-hour mark, you had finally stopped the tears and noises, and started picking up the pieces. Your face was beet red, but you recognized the scent surrounding you. The scent of pine trees with a little cinnamon mixed in- Drew. You briefly wondered when you had switched people, but you didn't want to get up yet. It felt nice having someone comfort you instead of the other way around. Half an hour later and you decided you should probably not look like you just lost it in the middle of an airstrip, so Drew clambered to his feet, along with you.

"I'm sorry." You muttered.

"(Y/N), don't worry about it. I love you and you've been through hell by yourself recently." Drew semi-confessed. You met his gaze with wide eyes.

"You knew?" Horror filled your voice.

"Oops. I didn't know, though, until about 2 AM this morning. Why didn't you tell us?"

"Tell you what?!" You raised your arms, "That I lost my child? That I nearly died in an IED explosion? What do you want me to tell you? You want to know that I knew how much it would kill TC that I lost a child? His second chance at fatherhood, and I destroyed it. What do you want to know?" You had quieted down towards the end of your little tirade.

"I want to know why you didn't let us, your family, help you through it." Drew had struggled to not get angry the more you did, so it was easy to have a normal-level response when you had a normal voice level.

"Because. I didn't want to burden you guys with the knowledge that you'd have been uncles, if not for my selfishness. How do you tell people you lost a child without sounding like a sob story walking? I wasn't gonna do that. To you, or myself."

"It wouldn't have been a burden, little sis. At all. Besides, that's what family's for, anyway." Drew smiled.

"I may not reenlist when my year is up. I already let these idiots have my kid. What's next? Me?"

"No. You don't get to let them have you, (Y/N). Your family still needs you. We need you. Think about Brianna. Use us to get through your next tour, but come back to us, okay? Breathing." Rick jumped in to the conversation.

"Okay," you agreed, and allowed a ghost of a grin to grace your face. You all stood in companionable silence until you heard the small jet approach the runway. It was time. You hugged the two men standing with you, and promised to write and call as permissible. You agreed to come back as soon as possible, breathing. Five minutes after the goodbyes, you were on the plane watching the edge of the runway drag on next to you.

 

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you thought!!!!  
> BTW: Not where I wanted the story to go, but the characters didn't like my idea :D


End file.
